OPEC BREAKS UP, FORMS BOYBAND.

Geneva, Switzerland
April 1, 2005

The oil ministers of OPEC, frustrated at their inability to maintain ranks on oil production and general inability to control the price of crude oil, today announced that they are breaking up the cartel and forming a boyband.

They've already released their first single, a remake of the Police's "Every Breath You Take" entitled "Every Trip You Take".

Lyrics:

Every trip you take
Every move you make
Every hill you partake
Every oil thirst you slake
I'll be making money off you

Every single day
Every time you go away
Even if you just say
You'll only drive once today
I'll still be making money off you

O can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor wallet fills, with every drive you take

Every trip you take
Every move you make
Every hill you partake
Every oil thirst you slake
I'll be making money off you

Since you got that big SUV I've been laughing my ass off
I dream at night and I can only see dollar signs
I look around and I don't know where to put it all
I'll keep working on it though..

Every trip you take
Every move you make
Every hill you partake
Every oil thirst you slake
I'll be making money off you